Are you sick of “low-def” gaming and media entertainment? Do you feel like you need more battle in your day to day life. Imagine, a videogame universe so sophisticated, it actually plays itself! Welcome to the next generation of next-gen consoles. Introducing the Battle Planet video game console. The most powerful gaming machine ever created. Requiring massive power consumption and exorbent subscription fees to be paid monthly years before the console can even be officially released, it is the most expensive entertainment device in history. But have no fear, you can just work EXTRA hours at your place of employment to afford one! Now that’s a great deal! Spherical in shape with a diameter of 300 ft., it requires massive amounts of electrical energy to sustain it’s 8 million symmetrical computer cores. And you’re going to need all that extra horsepower to contain the radioactive “Holo-ray” discs on which your console games will be printed. Now let’s talk about some of the peripherals. Battle Planet Console comes fully equiped with everything you need to enjoy “next-next-gen” gaming right out of the box. Because of the space and time warping capabillities of the battle planet console, one can actually agree to purchase the unit without actually ever agreeing to purchase the unit.